••• Joanna, Marriage Warrior •••

If you claim to have feelings you do not have, well that's just hypocritical. But, if you express an act of love that is for another person's benefit or pleasure, that is simply a choice. - The Five Love Languages 


I have found myself quoting excerpts from this book to my friends and family for months now. This book completely changed the way I look at giving and receiving love. It has opened up my eyes to how people need to be loved and how I need to be love and how everyone's idea of showing love is different.

We, as selfish creatures, generally show our love for people in a way that we also need to receive it. Take myself for instance, I am a gift giver. I love to shop for other people. I love to give people presents. It is a way that I show my love to people. I buy my children presents. I surprise my husband with new shoes. Doing this fills my love tank. But, it is also one of the ways that I need to get it back from others.

My husband on the other hand, is someone who shows and receives love by acts of service. So although I fulfill my own need for showing love to him by giving him presents, his love tank doesn't get full that way. Nor does he naturally express his love by showering me with gifts, but rather, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, mowing the yard, etc. This is how he shows it and how he needs to get it.

It doesn't come naturally to express love in a way that you don't need yourself, but it is necessary for any relationship, whether that be with a spouse or your children. Yes, your kids have a love language all their own! Learning this early on can change completely the dynamic in your home! I've been working on this for a few months now and I can see both a change in my children's attitudes and a change in my husband.

The first step is figuring out the love languages of those around you, and yourself. Get the book, read it, you'll love it. Simple realizations that can change your life for the better, you will greatly benefit. I would say this is a good first step to repairing a damaged marriage, or even fixing troubled relationships with your teenager (yikes).


The Five Love Languages
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

There is a test you can take to figure yours out. I bet you can find it online. Google it. Good luck.