Good At Catching Husbands

My sweet old granny was talking with some of our other family members one day and from the other room I heard her say this, "Joanna is good at catching husbands, she just doesn't know how to keep them!" Being a person that is not easily offended, I giggled to myself, and then of course told everyone I knew what she had said and we all giggled some more together. The words have stuck with me and occasionally there are times where I can see why she said what she said.

You see, my whole life I have not been one that kept men around very long. In high school I didn't date much, but when I did it never did last long. Usually the breakups would occur before the first kiss. Yes I was a prude, moving on.... I grew up with a fairy tale standard of what relationships and romance should be. This poured over into my ideas of what marriage was going to be like. I thought it would be like a fairy tale, but as they say, all great fairy tales end on the wedding day, thus concealing the ugly truth of marriage.

I can't think of a single guy that I dated when I was in school that I felt was good enough for me. I was a virgin, and didn't drink, didn't blah blah blah. Stupid I'm better than you's that kept me just out of reach. Delusions of grandeur I suppose. I have learned the hard way that equality is the key to a good marriage. A wife that submits to the husband. A husband that is fully submitted to God. Thus making it equal. Woman was created from a mans rib to walk beside him. Not from the feet to be trampled and not from the back to be behind. Anyway, none of that really mattered anyway because if my standards weren't the death of the relationship then surely I would find another way to sabotage it.

Perhaps it is because I come from a home where I was told daily that I am the most beautiful, the smartest, the most talented and gifted girl. So naturally, being fed that everyday I believed it. I got an early start to thinking that I was the bomb.com. And there was maybe possibly one night and shining armor out there waiting for me, fighting for me, dreaming of me at night. One man that would live up to my standards. One man that would be the most perfect husband.

Let me just tell ya... I'm not sure that Jesus himself could have lived up to the standards I had set for marriage! It has taken me 30 years, one failed marriage, an affair, one rocky marriage, and a million mistakes in between to even come close to grasping what it takes to actually have a marriage that lasts a lifetime. One way for sure to screw a marriage up before it starts is to set unreachable standards for it. You need goals in a marriage that are attainable. Something a husband can live up to. Don't set your man up for failure.

If you want to keep a husband, and perhaps actually have a GOOD(not perfect) marriage, here is a list of good things you can do.

1. Be his biggest fan. The man needs an encourager and that is you.

2. Don't dash his dreams. He may never be the king of WWF but it's your job to let him know that in your heart and mind he could be.

3. Let him be the man. He is the man, you are not. Give back the pants. :)

4. Learn his love language and speak it fluently. Get the book. This is life changing. 

5. Learn his needs. Generally they are in this order... Sex Food Sleep. Now meet them.

This is just a start and I am sure I will have more to say about this matter later. I love marriage. I think all marriages are worth fighting for. I know that sometimes people marry the wrong person, but you know what? Who's to say that can't end up being the most satisfying relationship either have ever been in. I believe it can happen. And I know from experience that staying in a not so good marriage is easier than divorce. Divorce really sucks and no one really aspires to go there. So, believing that we want to keep our husbands, not just catch them, I will blog on about this later! Good day, All!